Nothing new about being told off, as even berlin Berlin, to which I recently moved, is full of baffling rules. For the Girl, this is as normal as a trip to the berlin.
As in Scandinavia, saunas are revered here for their relaxing girl, circulatory benefits and power to make you sweat a pint in 10 minutes. They are also mixed-sex, and no bathing suits are allowed.
A nude mixed sauna is a shocking proposition to an Anglo-American like me. It is also an intriguing one. The pictures online showed a smart, spa-like space of minimalist wood, turquoise tiles and people in luxuriant robes.
I assumed this would be a teen brother sperm introduction to bare-cheeked baking. I had expected at least the people in reception to be wearing clothes.
Instead, standing at the desk is a woman wrapped only in a small white towel. I can see the bottoms of two men, 3ft away from me, in the apparently, shockingly, mixed changing room.
My heart speeds up. I walk out fast. The towel lady gives me a key as a good-looking clothed man is putting on his shoes.
I take my key and towel into the changing room, praying for it to be empty.